My Chair Wardrobe

A year ago I decided to throw out my bulky, dust-collecting, rubbish holding desk in exchange for a pretty little bookcase. I made this decision like three years ago but never did it. The thing is I am pretty sure I have a problem with doing what I say I’ll do. But, only when it comes to mundane smaller tasks. I am totally fine with following through with my work commitments and studying. It’s the little things. The things where, if not completed, the world will not end. I cannot bring myself to tidy my room, to change my two-year old Facebook profile picture, or to watch that DVD I impulsively bought because I just had to see it right at that moment. I currently have a collection of the past six issues of Elle Magazine casually scattered about my house. I’ve read them just never got rid of them.

At the time when I decide to do something I will be completely dedicated to doing it. I will decide exactly how to prepare for carrying out the task, how I will complete the task, what life will be like after completing the task, and even what album I will play during the completion of the task (Angles by The Strokes, every time) (especially Under Cover of Darkness and Gratisfaction).

I was so excited at the idea of throwing out that ridiculously pointless desk but just didn’t. Some part of me always said, “No, Pauline. You can do that later.” I definitely have an inner voice that can expertly convince me to procrastinate everything away. This brings me to the current bain of my life. Worse than the magazines, even worse than all of my unwatched DVDs.

My Chair Wardrobe.

Just as the Floor Wardrobe is defined as a bedroom floor coated with one’s entire wardrobe, my Chair Wardrobe is a chair drowning in all of my clothes. It is not ideal. It can cause things to become creased and require being re-ironed. It can also cause me to forget what clothes I actually own. Last winter I bought a new grey jumper because I forgot that my grey jumper was sitting in a ball, neglected and forgotten, at the bottom of the wardrobe/pile of clothes chucked on a chair.

You see, with the useless desk came a useless chair and, not gonna lie, it was a Chair Wardrobe then too. It had to skillfully balance the duties of being my wardrobe and also a part-time desk chair. It kept itself busy. Now, however, it has cut back it’s hours to focus on being a full-time wardrobe.

The ironic thing is that it is positioned to block my real-life, fully-functioning, empty built-in wardrobe. I can barely get into my actual wardrobe for the Chair Wardrobe that blocks me from the doors. It’s grown quite a bit over the years. A collection of jeans, skirts, pinafores, jumpers and tops slowly made their transition from wardrobe to chair. I’m looking at it right now. Well, actually it’s looking at me right now cause it’s big enough to do that. The current top item is a powder blue lace t-shirt from Topshop that is fresh from the wash and very carefully chucked on the pile with reckless abandon.

I haven’t actually read any of those lovely little Instagram worthy books about how amazing tidying is and the wonders it can do to your brain and this is probably true. But for me, I really just want a nice room that doesn’t make me regret my messiness everytime I try to whip up an outfit.

I think I just have a natural talent in procrastinating when I have household chores to do. It is a skill to be this good. I should probably read one of those other lovely little Instagram worthy books that teach you how to stop procrastinating but I won’t do that either.

The Chair Wardrobe has become part of my life, part of my morning routine and I’m not sure if I’m quite ready to give it up yet. After all, the ugly, clothes ruining, space taking, wardrobe-blocking chair is something I rely on and plead with everyday when I hope that a crucial part of an outfit is smply just hiding somewhere in the pile and not actually in the wash.

Maybe I’ll eventually have another epiphany like the one that drove me to throw out the desk. Maybe the chair does have the same fate as it’s counterpart. But, at least for now, the Chair Wardrobe stays…along with the six magazines and unwatched DVDs.



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