So here we are. I think everybody should take a moment this New Year to be grateful that they have survived 2016, because a seriously large amount of things and people did not!
I am sort of at a reflecting point in my life right now anyway so New Year (or as we say in Scotland, Hogmanay) is a pretty good time to try and turn some things around and better myself.
This year has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me and I have written up a sort of timeline to demonstrate that:
Jan – Feb: January this year involved me going to a nightclub for the first time, after successfully avoiding doing so for almost a year, and later writing and directing a short film. However, the tables turned in February when my aunt passed away suddenly and left my family and I completely shook. This would also then result in me failing college as I missed deadlines and took days off.
March – May: However, in March I was accepted into the University of my dreams and felt a lot more secure about my future, as I was certain my college would not accept me for a second year. In the knowledge of my impending failure, I sought work experience and was lucky enough to work as an unpaid runner on the set of a feature film that was shooting nearby.
June – August: Then, over the summer I took on the most challenging thing I think I have ever done by volunteering with addiction services and creating a filmmaking group for people (mostly old enough to be more parents) in recovery from drug and alcohol problems. That itself was an emotional rollercoaster. However, getting to witness the enthusiasm and hard-work put in by people who would have never had the opportunity to make films was absolutely incredible.
Sep – Oct: In September I was then hired to continue that work and so started my first ever job. Simultaneously, I started University and realised that I may need to see a doctor about anxiety. On October 26th I was told that I suffer from panic attacks and faced something that I had been running from for six years. I started medication and seeing a councillor.
Nov – Dec: Then, in November my mum fell ill and began losing the ability to walk. She was admitted to hospital six weeks later, where she is currently. This meant spending Christmas day in hospital and we will be spending most of Hogmanay there as well.
I think it is pretty safe to say that my 2016 has been eventful.
When I look back on it now it seems that it has been mostly bad with the occasional high. However, I know that I should be really proud of myself. I faced a lot of my fears, made a lot of new friends, and had a lot of fun. I kept going despite the mental health struggles and family emergencies. I have survived 2016 and although I wasn’t exactly optimistic or stress-free throughout the year, I had successes and achievements.
It sounds really lame yelling, “New Year, New Me!” but I know that there are little differences I can make to improve myself and more importantly, to improve my wellbeing.
Going into 2017, I will focus on the positives and be optimistic that the coming year will have a lot less negatives!